Monday, 2 May 2016

Prepared

Are you prepared?

I though I was prepared. I though I had played the devil's advocate enough. I thought I had analysed the worst case scenarios. I thought I had decided on the safest options.
Still, when crisis came and the ambulance was called, I did not feel prepared.

In the ambulance, all I thought was that really I ought to enjoy the moment. Last time I was in an ambulance, they did not use the sirens. Although I did not enjoy the trip, besides a good story about East-German ambulance drivers, I did get a few laughs out of it.

This time, the sirens just emphasised that this is serious, this is an emergency, this is something I really do not want my old mother to worry about. This time, I was also in my mother's country in and within in my mother's country's health care system.

So I was prepared.
One of the world's best health care systems (although stretched thinly these days) was mine for the asking, it is free and I speak the language fluently. I have 27 austere annual budgets in the bank and I have lived a very enjoyable life. I love and I am loved. I should be prepared and I thought I could deal with it.

But I am impatient. Although I am back at the low-impact part of work, I am not back in shape, still waiting for test results,  still waiting for information on what I can do and cannot do, still feeling quite under the weather, just trying not to worry. Worst case emergency scenario has been ruled out and although nobody says anything, I think I will recover. (Heavy dose of positive thinking added here).

Currently, the most difficult is that I don't know if the future is still be mine to plan or if I will have restrictions. No, actually, the worst is that I am separated from the man. Until I am cleared, I do not want to leave this national health care system, and he is stuck in his country. It has only been two weeks, but for joined twins, this is a very long time.

And I am of course impatient. I cannot make plans, I cannot even make decisions about tomorrow, I cannot fly, make reservations or plans for the future. However, I still have an unshaken optimism.

Are you prepared for your worst case scenario? Are you making sure that you have experienced life to the fullest the day your heart valves starts leaking?

ps. Yes, I had clean underwear when the ambulance came.

9 comments:

  1. Good grief woman, what happened? I admire your optimism xo

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    1. Always the optimist, and by now at least, I can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that I have a heart....

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    2. Oh dear, has it not being playing nicely? I hope it gts its act together for you soon xoxo

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  2. Heavens! Remember what Crocodile Dundee once sang, "If I gave my heart to you, I'd have none and you'd have two." Thank goodness for clean underwear! Get well soon. God bedring!

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    1. Stort takk. Indeed, I recommend continuous use of clean underwear, and serious underwear. It was the only dignified thing to hold on to in the emergency room.

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  3. Very alarming! I hope you are back to your usual self and with The Man again as soon as possible. Wishing you the best outcome possible.

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    1. So sweet, thank you so much. Heart is still all over the place but we are adjusting to a new relationship. The man will be waiting outside the gate when I arrive later today.

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  4. I hope you are ok by the time i read your post. I like your spirit.

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    1. Thank you Yael, better indeed. Still some way to go and not all answers and results provided yet.

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