Monday, 26 February 2018

Home life 2018

The only thing that fascinates me more than change, is diversity.
I have limited patience with fiction, as it rarely - ever? - surpasses reality.
Other people’s lives are endlessly interesting and here is ours.

We are a couple who live together. So we cook together, do dishes together and clean together.
Mostly at the same time (but we are unusual so do not take that as an example) but definitely for each other.
We are also two adults. Nobody is in charge of anything. Anybody can ask the other for anything.

We have no rules, but we have routines. If one cooks dinner, the other does dishes. I vacuum more often because I have hair. The man cleans the toilet more often because he cares (more than I do, I am rather gross-resistant). If you do laundry, you hang and the other will fold, eventually. Each puts clothes back in own wardrobe and irons own clothes, if needed. We have his and hers tool box and both fix things (we are annoyed about different problems). I dust, clear cups, throw papers, fold blankets more often than the man because he cares not. He waters the plants. If he leaves clothes on the floor, I walk on it (not on purpose but I am not sidestepping). Anything needed is written on the shopping list and is bought by the next person going to the shops.

He cooks better than I do, but has less inspiration. I can feed twenty hungry twenty year old's from an empty kitchen (having been trained at cooking at the student club at uni) in twenty minutes. Often I make the meal plan, cut and chop and while the man cooks and spices, continuous to do dishes, set table and fill water bottles until food is served. (We cook all our food at home from scratch every day.) This is if I am at home.

We have a varied work life. We go from not working, to working from home, to working in a local office, commuting an hour each way to working abroad weeks at the time. Changes are constant. Routines doesn’t change much though but whoever is at home, will do more than the one who travels. And usually has the place clean and the dinner ready when the other comes home. If not, no problem. Both are excused for anything and both adults fully capable to take care of the other.

If I came home to a list of chores on the fridge door with tasks to perform and check off, I would emigrate. Again.
Especially if there had been no gentle reminding, prodding, nagging and outright arguing over the issue before. Preferably a mature conversation.

I do in the house what I see need to be done and I prioritise having it done before a lot of other things.
Having a clean kitchen in the morning is something I value. So I do dishes and clean the table tops in the evening.
Some evenings I don’t.
Some evenings I don’t have to because I live with someone who also likes to make morning coffee in a clean kitchen. So he does it too.

When the man is away, I eat potato chips for dinner. Out of the bag.
The man pretends he doesn’t know.
When I am away, the man does all his dishes while I travel from the airport. Or that is what I think.
Both behave better together than apart.


  1. You two sound very compatible together, which is great!

    1. I am myself amazed I fit with somebody so well.

  2. Sounds pretty good to me and quite equitable. How long has it been to get to this point?

    1. The equitable part has been going at least a few weeks by now (we are not always idyllic but it is not about dishes we quibble). Eight year anniversary recently.

  3. I wish my house worked this well. I have my routine, since my man works away a lot. He comes home and disrupts everything for a day or 2 then we settle into a new routine.

    1. It actually sounds like your house works exactly like ours, with constant changes to the routines. Maybe your husband could be in charge of the house when he is at home? Could you let him?