Saturday, 27 October 2018


This is the result of my new hobby.

Alsassian ginger flavoured biscuits, vanilla Amarettos, a loaf of bread and a pie crust for the man to fill for his lunches next week.

With no stupid job to go to, a focus on my history thesis’s and a wonky hip limiting my running, baked goods is what I am left with.
I love it.

I spend my days in archives, virtual anD real, deciphering 16th century French.
I cook, clean, knit and read books.
It is really a wonderful life, post-work.

Sure, the sudden drop in world market economy is scary. This time not even caused by the cheeto, meaning there may be a reason behind it. Still, all the hard saving have left my with filled coffers, and I shouldn’t worry. Should’t.
Sure, the lump in my breast was scary but it has now been x-rayed, ultrasounded and the entirely natural and harmless cyst was drained with a needle. Completely harmless. May occur again, still harmless.
Sure, the future is uncertain, but now and the next year is fine.

P.S. All the baking was prepared and timed so when the oven went on, it was efficiently used and also made dinner.

Wednesday, 10 October 2018


Nothing to worry about.
The lump in my breast is considered harmless and most certainly not a growth.
It will be photographed through mammography and possibly have the internal fluid analysed but it is not urgent.  It will not be today. We will give it a little more time. The lump is still shrinking.

I can not enough express my gratitude to free public health care. 
I am equally grateful for the rational thinking of the warm-hearted doctor I met. She left me with no uncertainly as to what it could be or what could have caused it, while she also made sure I expressed any worries that I had.
Together these two gifts enables me to just go on with my life.

So I will. 

Monday, 1 October 2018


We have survived the once-every-three years family gathering in our house. We came out of it with flying colours (a lot of "but this tastes gooood" in a surprised tone of voice! The man is a wizard in the kitchen and I am an excellent planner and cleaner; together we make a good host couple and there will always be enough forks. We are just not entirely fond of having people in our house...)

Anyway, the stock markets are flying and the financial independence number stands at 40,08; my assets excluding somewhere to live as well as private and state pensions which I cannot control, could last me over forty years.
It is almost imaginary numbers as it requires me to live on the existing annual budget and that the value increase (think compound interests) match or supersede the annual cost increases. Nobody will know but the hard work the last years, saving hard and spending as little as possible will have paid off, when I work my last paid day at my current job in two weeks.
A few more payments called salary and vacation expenses and then it will stop.
A step out into the unknown.
Of uncertainty.

Or rather - into my master thesis work and deep diving into archives containing documents from the 16th century around Europe. I have plenty to do and have no time for work. I feel very energetic and even the professor guiding my work, has caught the bug. He has dug out old unfinished work that he is now publishing in all sorts of fora. He was my first teacher of history and I am so happy he is the thesis counsellor.

I have given myself a year of no worry (ha - but that is the plan). An annual budget will be placed on a separate account to live off until September 2019 or graduation, whichever comes first. Then I will apply for something paid, within current or new work field and in the man's country of the Netherlands. Then, and only then will I leave the comforting arms of my mother's country.

(None of the above is more than a plan. I continue to apply to jobs that sounds good and have so far declined a good job in an awful work place, and declined an interview in what sounds like a good place but for a completely wrong position. All of that may be a waste of time, mine and theirs, but it makes me feel good. I also have a lump in my breast that will be checked out next week and unless that is all fine and nothing to worry about, all plans are off the table.)

The future is now - or rather in two weeks.